Viney Revelation

I do believe that I just had a, how you say, epiphany of sorts.

As I was cleaning my room I was listening to a sermon by Efrem Smith, which he evidently gave way back in 2004. Mostly it was about people saying "no" when God asks them to do something, and how that is completely counterproductive to what His hope for the Kingdom (why does it seem like so many words should be capitalized when one writes about Christianity?) is, because every day one of us wakes up it is because God has said "yes" to us and we should return the favor. As long as He's letting us plod along on His green Earth (non-religious capitalization) we may as well do something about it.

Then, in what was just a tiny supporting argument Efrem brought up John 15 (the "I am the vine" passage) and, somehow, the way he read it made me get something out of it that I never had before. It also had nothing to do with what he was talking about or his overarching point, but I'll take what I can get, yo.

Lemme quote for you:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser (I'm sorry...this is a weird translation. English Standard Version..published in Chi-town). Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he prunes, that it might bear more fruit."

The bolded line, obviously, is the one to which I would like to call your attention. To me that line has always meant that if you're not working for God he snips you out of the way and then throws you and all other inadequate persons into a bonfire, after which he and all his angels roast cloud marshmallows over your twiggy, burning body. (I'm being macabre and poetic, and not entirely serious. Calm down. This ain't no "sinners in the hands of an angry God" talk here.)

Now, I'm getting something new. Pruning, although sometimes awful (in more ways than one), does not always mean maiming or bastardization. Maybe sometimes when we feel a little snip snip in our lives (and yes, it fucking hurts) it is God, knowing best, and making a few cuts to help us grow in a way that we otherwise may not have been able. What he takes away can seem vital. It might seem impossible to continue without whatever it is that he so painfully wrenched away from our side.

Anyone who knows me knows already what loss I am referring to in my life, and I'm not going to come out and say it because it is exactly what I never wanted anyone to say to me. It still doesn't make any sense to me, and if it was purposeful it was seemingly mean and premature. But it gave me comfort for a couple seconds. Maybe the comfort will return, maybe not.

Weeee shallll seeeeee.