Most of my day today was spent running around my house singing at the top of my lungs in my not-pretty voice, of which I am becoming increasingly fond. I also went to the grocery store where, when buying eggs, a baby ruth bar and some veggies I also purchased an invisible bagel. I say this because I have no recollection of picking up or eating or even seeing any bagels – invisible or otherwise - today, but I was definitely charged $0.60 for one. Anywho, when my sister got home from nannying I realized that it was a beautiful day and I had spent none of it outside so I decided to go to one of the parks near my home to read, listen to music and absorb some golden rays.
After snagging a good-sized chunk of one of my loaves of French bread and a book of Ernest Hemingway short stories I stuck my ipod down my dress and dance-walked my way to the park. My initial plan was to sit at the end of a dock that juts into the small lake there and dangle my feet in the water as I read and listened to music that is not conducive to the focus needed for reading. When I got down the hill I saw that someone was fishing at the end of the dock and rather than get in his way I decided to amend my plan and instead sit on a bench near the dock in order to snag the dock as soon as they left it. Almost immediately after forming this plan I also realized that I knew the person on the dock and suddenly, for no good reason other than that I'm human and we're silly like this, I felt very strongly that I should not say hello. I met this person when I was working at Primo and he is just now becoming a high school freshman. But, more importantly, he was from a different part of my life, the “Primo Café, this is Holly, how may I help you?” stage of my life and it seemed right that he stay there. If that does not make sense, consider this: a child, upon seeing his teacher in a public place that is not school, often feels uncomfortable and has no desire to speak to his teacher because his teacher does not belong outside of the classroom. It is the exact same logic, just slightly messed up because I’m an adult now. Despite his being a young'un I really enjoy the conversations I have with him, as they are characterized by an exuberance unique to children. But the wrongness of interacting with a person who did not “belong” in this compartment of my life overruled my want to speak to him, so I went and sat on my bench and waited for him to leave while I read about another bitter man in another Hemingway story.
This is where it gets terrible in a mundanely comic way. I don't think he noticed me when I first noticed him, but eventually, based on his body language, I could tell that he had recognized me and was making a duplicate effort to pretend that he neither saw nor recognized me. It was like one of those deliciously, subtly awkward moments that normally occur briefly in passing: in line at the bank, walking through the grocery store or walking across campus, but this time the moment was stretched to at least an hour and instead of being in an even remotely crowded place we were at a park of which the two of us were the only occupants. He wouldn't stop fishing and I wanted my vitamin D so we both very deliberately pretended the other was not there, while constantly checking to see if our presence was going to be acknowledged. Of course we were both very discreet and our mannerisms probably would have been entirely unnoticeable were it not for the fact that every time one of us moved significantly enough that it looked as though we were actually leaving without saying hello (HOW DARE (S)HE) the other person would start, plainly surprised, and then go dramatically back to feigning apathy.
After moving from my bench to a small field to a swingset I decided I’d had enough and that I would say hello before going home and (what do you know?) after we passed the initial awkwardness of both of our overly enthusiastic realizations that we knew one another, we had a very pleasant conversation. Although I will admit that I am a bit worried about the kid. I’m hoping that my perception of him is slightly misconstrued due to his trying to impress me with his drug and alcohol exploits (he’s a kid…it’s still cool for him to live for beer and pot?)
Ai. People. I love us so much. I know that these elaborate ignoring games are not unique to DJ or me. Who on earth possibly started such a terrible thing?
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its the "i see ya, but i aint got nothin to say to ya, no just move along" type of effect. i sometimes find myself doing the same thing. you want so badly to look up and see they have that spark of acknowledgement, but in the same you feel it would be better just to pass by and forget the person. at least this one was civil... and not some lunatic who you cant stand...
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