"I Was" Series

Going to Tell You
I was going to tell you.
Not the time you tried to ask.
I was going to tell you.
She (I?) convinced me you should know.
I was going to tell you.
Because I love the way you feel.
I was going to tell you.
Because your smile's like the sun.
It doesn't make my heart melt.
(But makes the ice around it start to run.)
I was going to tell you.
Was going to give it to you straight.
I was going to tell you.
But it will have to wait
Until it is no longer true.
And then when all its color
Has faded into blacks and blues
I'll still refuse to tell you
Because I hate to lose.

Getting Better
I was getting better.
It took me way too long.
I was getting better.
Things didn't feel so wrong.
I was getting better.
But it got obvious so
You killed it.
Now it's dead.
You say you want me happy
And in a way I think that's true
But unless it's happiness on your terms
You've made it clear you won't approve.
I was getting better.
Both in myself and in the world.
I was getting better.
Glee had been unfurled.
Its colors were so stunning
It shone both light and dark.
I was getting better.
Now everything is stark.
I was getting better.
But now I've lost my way.
I was getting better,
I breathed deeper every day.
The air was clear, cool and sweet.
The ground smoothed out beneath my feet.
Everything was better.
Then you pushed.
I fell.
Defeat.