nothing to see here.

I am trying to write an entry about my recent crazy-ass mood swings and I am not doing a very good job of it. Two or three entries (one of which was actually a reasonable length) have now been deleted. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if this one wound up digitally erasified as well. I make up words. Shoot me.

(Side story relating to word invention: My Research Paper Professor makes us title all of our sections and he said that we should title them creatively. As such I titled one of mine "Exploitionships" (it was about people who use their friends instead of appreciating them for the great individuals that they are). Obviously "exploitionship" is a made up word, but I was told to be creative and that is creative AND it would make a kick-ass word. Professor did not think so. Le sigh. EXCITING story. Heehee.)

Anywho: Recently I have been mood-swinging like CRAZY and for no discernible reason. I'll wake up being wickedly excited about life and then three hours later I'll be ready to go home and drown myself in a toilet bowl. I'll be having an all-around awful day and next thing I know I'm running about laughing and having a grand old time with a group of people. I don't get it and it's really starting to piss me off. Calm the eff down, emotions. Calm the eff down.

Random thoughts:

I have a sliver in my hand. I wish I understood people. I wish I were better at telling people what I think/feel when it is pertinent. Friends are like rainbows. They're purty while they last, but they don't. I like taking walks. I wish I had never left Hofstra. I hate role-reversal that puts me in an uncomfortable place. I think I ruined a pair of shoes today. But it was worth it. I should be more honest. With everyone. Including myself. I wish I knew what he thought in particular. I am trying to catch up on all the podcasts I am subscribed to. Takes for-frickin'-ever. I am also trying to get to the point where I've listened to all the music I have on my computer. Also takes for-frickin' ever. It would help if I wasn't constantly clearing my library and re-installing the same music. It makes it very hard to tell what I have and have not actually listened to. I want a bowl of ice cream. There is no ice cream in my house. That is enough for now. I hope I can be in Washington for the summer. Really, really, really a lot. I miss him and he's not even gone yet. My new obscenity is fuckhead. Deliciously juvenile and explicit. My blocker is forbidding me to go on facebook, but midnight is supposed to be a new day and it's five past midnight now. what de hell? ahhh...there we go. ciao.